The recent tragedy has hurt many parents, including myself. The media continues to link violence with Autism. This has hurt me even more. Autistic children are not violent. My child is not violent. I dont want the world to view my child and other autistic children that way. They are loving, sweet children. The autism community has been through a lot already dealing with misinformed ignorant people.
We need to teach them about Autism. We need to raise awareness. People need to fully understand what Autism is. There are many children and adults affected by Autism. Everday is a struggle for autistics and their parents. We wake up every day hoping for acceptance for our children. Our kids need to be looked at for who they are. Judging a person they know little about is not right. In order for our kids to live in this society they have to be understood. Our children want to be loved like every kid. They have feelings too. Don't stop raising awareness. Our kids need this. I'm hoping for a better Year!!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
What Does The Future Hold?
As I wake up everyday the constant thought goes through my mind. What will my daughter's future be like? I don't know and it's scary. I can picture it being perfect, but lets face it nothing is perfect. Will she be able to advocate for herself? Will she be able to become independent? Will she be able to socialize? Will she find someone who will love her for who she is? I hope so.
These are questions that only time will tell. I will do everything in my power to teach her all she needs to know so her future is bright. What I do for her now will help shape her future. I taught my older kids how to work with my younger daughter. How to understand her needs. They will be her guide when I'm no longer here.
I fear when that day comes because nobody can understand my daughter better then me. With hard work and determination my daughter's future will be bright. She will be the best that she can be. As a mom you can't stop thinking about all these questions. You want the best for your child. You want your child to be accepted. This world is a tough place to live in for a child with a disability. Your child will become successful with the help of a loving, caring mother who doesn't stop pushing.
These are questions that only time will tell. I will do everything in my power to teach her all she needs to know so her future is bright. What I do for her now will help shape her future. I taught my older kids how to work with my younger daughter. How to understand her needs. They will be her guide when I'm no longer here.
I fear when that day comes because nobody can understand my daughter better then me. With hard work and determination my daughter's future will be bright. She will be the best that she can be. As a mom you can't stop thinking about all these questions. You want the best for your child. You want your child to be accepted. This world is a tough place to live in for a child with a disability. Your child will become successful with the help of a loving, caring mother who doesn't stop pushing.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Helping My Daughter Learn
Just because my daughter was receiving A.B.A services didn't mean that the learning stopped there. Once I learned A.B.A I was taking advantage of this opportunity and was going to reach for success. I went and purchased wooden puzzles ( letters, numbers, shapes, vehicles) string beads, wooden blocks. I saved recyclables to use for pretend play. My other daughter has a kitchen set. When I used the puzzles with my daughter at first I let her play with it and try to figure it out. I slowly showed her where the pieces go. I always gave her a choice to pick one.
For instance if we were doing colors I would hold up two colors and say where is pink. Once the puzzle was complete I would ask her for a certain color until it was all cleaned up ( that helps receptively). I also purchased a memory board game which helps her match. Only use four at a time and pictures they might know. I also learned that my daughter loves to use electronics. Now I wish I could of bought an Ipad but it's too expensive. I downloaded learning apps on my phone and bought an inexpensive tablet. You can find many learning apps. I limit the time my daughter uses the tablet and its not everyday because I don't want her to get too attached.
I teach my daughter how to share and take turns by involving my other kids to play with us. When she gets upset I always redirect her frustration and show her the correct way. I softly explain that we need to share. When she wants to keep stuff to herself I take it away and say do you want this she says yes and I say I want you to share it's your sister's turn and when she is done then it's your turn. Simple little actions sometimes resolve these problems. Just because there is a diagnosis doesn't mean they can get away with stuff. They need to be disciplined like others kids. Discipline one discipline all.They need these skills when they go to school. It is important.
For instance if we were doing colors I would hold up two colors and say where is pink. Once the puzzle was complete I would ask her for a certain color until it was all cleaned up ( that helps receptively). I also purchased a memory board game which helps her match. Only use four at a time and pictures they might know. I also learned that my daughter loves to use electronics. Now I wish I could of bought an Ipad but it's too expensive. I downloaded learning apps on my phone and bought an inexpensive tablet. You can find many learning apps. I limit the time my daughter uses the tablet and its not everyday because I don't want her to get too attached.
I teach my daughter how to share and take turns by involving my other kids to play with us. When she gets upset I always redirect her frustration and show her the correct way. I softly explain that we need to share. When she wants to keep stuff to herself I take it away and say do you want this she says yes and I say I want you to share it's your sister's turn and when she is done then it's your turn. Simple little actions sometimes resolve these problems. Just because there is a diagnosis doesn't mean they can get away with stuff. They need to be disciplined like others kids. Discipline one discipline all.They need these skills when they go to school. It is important.
In Honor Of The Lives Lost
I am very saddened to see
You were unfortunately taken away from me
You had your whole life ahead of you
I was here to guide you through
How quick you were gone in a blink of an eye
The question always remains.... Why?
This emptiness I feel will always remain
An unexplained act is to blame
Now I am left with missing you forever
A thought that will not be forgotten not EVER
My eyes fill up with tears everday
I wish it didnt have to be this way
You will always be in my heart
Always remember I loved you from the start
I know that this is not the end
Because we will be together again.....
You were unfortunately taken away from me
You had your whole life ahead of you
I was here to guide you through
How quick you were gone in a blink of an eye
The question always remains.... Why?
This emptiness I feel will always remain
An unexplained act is to blame
Now I am left with missing you forever
A thought that will not be forgotten not EVER
My eyes fill up with tears everday
I wish it didnt have to be this way
You will always be in my heart
Always remember I loved you from the start
I know that this is not the end
Because we will be together again.....
Friday, December 14, 2012
My View On Raising Two Children With Disabilities
Being a mom/parent is a great feeling. Being a mom/parent of a child with disabilities is even a greater feeling. They leave an impact on you that will never be forgotten. It fills you up with joy. Children with disabilities are unique, funny, smart, and adorable. There are many challenges when it comes to raising children as unique as them.
There are good days and there are bad days. There are days when sometimes you feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But then there are days that leave you with great memories. The way they smile, the way they laugh,the way they look at you, how/ when they tell you " I love you Mom/Dad".
These are the moments that we cherish. These are the moments I cherish. My two children have a different diagnosis. One with ASD who is 3 yrs.old and one with ADD/LD who is 11 yrs.old. So their needs are different. My 3 yr.old needs help all the time as she cannot do things on her own. My 11 yr.old also needs help, but not as much because he can do majority of things on his own.
I have had many great moments in my life and THIS MOMENT has been the best so far. My children have made me laugh, they have made me cry. As a Mom/ Parent this is my duty. Everyday is a blessing and I wouldn't change it for anything. This experience has been incredible for me. It has shown me that anything is possible to handle. You just have to open your minds and your hearts. Be caring, thoughtful, loving, and most of all, be the best parent you can be. Our kids will be forever grateful.
There are good days and there are bad days. There are days when sometimes you feel exhausted and overwhelmed. But then there are days that leave you with great memories. The way they smile, the way they laugh,the way they look at you, how/ when they tell you " I love you Mom/Dad".
These are the moments that we cherish. These are the moments I cherish. My two children have a different diagnosis. One with ASD who is 3 yrs.old and one with ADD/LD who is 11 yrs.old. So their needs are different. My 3 yr.old needs help all the time as she cannot do things on her own. My 11 yr.old also needs help, but not as much because he can do majority of things on his own.
I have had many great moments in my life and THIS MOMENT has been the best so far. My children have made me laugh, they have made me cry. As a Mom/ Parent this is my duty. Everyday is a blessing and I wouldn't change it for anything. This experience has been incredible for me. It has shown me that anything is possible to handle. You just have to open your minds and your hearts. Be caring, thoughtful, loving, and most of all, be the best parent you can be. Our kids will be forever grateful.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
My A.B.A.(Applied Behavior Analysis) Experience
When my daughter was diagnosed with Autism the doctor suggested A.B.A. treatment. Being new to the diagnosis I didnt know what A.B.A. was. It is Applied Behavior Analysis. It's an effective learning strategy that is broken down for the child to better understand. I watched the therapists during the sessions. From experience I have to say that A.B.A is the best treatment for children diagnosed with Autism. I was amazed at the results it produced. Here are some ways A.B.A. is used.
For example, when the child is learning colors they start off with one color (yellow). They have the child point to the color telling the child what color it is and asking the child where is the color yellow. They do this step 10 times or when 80% or higher is scored. Once the color is mastered then they move on to putting a distracter in. So now they show the color yellow and pink. The child is asked to point to the color yellow to make sure they have mastered it.
They repeatedly use the steps in everything they teach. Once the child has mastered all the colors shapes,alphabets. They are put into maintnence and checked daily. They use full prompts,partial prompts and no prompts when teaching gross motor imitation. I have mastered A.B.A. myself and it's a great stategy to use. You can use A.B.A.with your child at night to help them learn even more. You can make your own picture cards (it's cheaper). You can buy oak tag and a small photo album from the dollar store. The photo album will help protect the cards from ripping,bending.
You can rip the pages out of the photo album it will be easier to hold when teaching and you can take them with you when you go out. To make color cards cut the oak tag into the size of the photo album sheets it will fit right in. Color the whole card make sure not to miss any spots. It will be more effective when all the child sees is the color. As they are easily distracted. To make cards for shapes and alphabets cut the oak tag into the size of the photo sheets but dont color the card draw the shape you want them to learn and color the shapes in black as it will help the child focus and place inside the photo sheet. Repeat these steps when making alphabet cards.
You can also make cards for everyday items. Just print the pictures out from your phone,camera,or computer. Cut them out to the size of the photo sheets and glue to the oak tag and put into photo sheet. You can make a daily chart for your child using fabric and velcro and hang it on the wall and this way they will know what to expect throughout the day (you know kids with ASD go by routine.) Place pictures of milk, juice, water etc.on the fridge and when your child is thirtsy they can point to what they want.
These strageties have helped me tremendously. Also google sign language on the computer it will become very useful. I can now communicate with my daughter using sign language. (Thats always a plus to learn) You will see results. A.B.A. has changed my life. It has given me a way to teach, learn, and understand my daughter. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you have helped your child learn and grow. I hope I have been of assistance for many families.
They repeatedly use the steps in everything they teach. Once the child has mastered all the colors shapes,alphabets. They are put into maintnence and checked daily. They use full prompts,partial prompts and no prompts when teaching gross motor imitation. I have mastered A.B.A. myself and it's a great stategy to use. You can use A.B.A.with your child at night to help them learn even more. You can make your own picture cards (it's cheaper). You can buy oak tag and a small photo album from the dollar store. The photo album will help protect the cards from ripping,bending.
You can rip the pages out of the photo album it will be easier to hold when teaching and you can take them with you when you go out. To make color cards cut the oak tag into the size of the photo album sheets it will fit right in. Color the whole card make sure not to miss any spots. It will be more effective when all the child sees is the color. As they are easily distracted. To make cards for shapes and alphabets cut the oak tag into the size of the photo sheets but dont color the card draw the shape you want them to learn and color the shapes in black as it will help the child focus and place inside the photo sheet. Repeat these steps when making alphabet cards.
You can also make cards for everyday items. Just print the pictures out from your phone,camera,or computer. Cut them out to the size of the photo sheets and glue to the oak tag and put into photo sheet. You can make a daily chart for your child using fabric and velcro and hang it on the wall and this way they will know what to expect throughout the day (you know kids with ASD go by routine.) Place pictures of milk, juice, water etc.on the fridge and when your child is thirtsy they can point to what they want.
These strageties have helped me tremendously. Also google sign language on the computer it will become very useful. I can now communicate with my daughter using sign language. (Thats always a plus to learn) You will see results. A.B.A. has changed my life. It has given me a way to teach, learn, and understand my daughter. The best feeling in the world is knowing that you have helped your child learn and grow. I hope I have been of assistance for many families.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
How Bullying Has Hurt My Child's Social Skills
When my son first started pre k4 he had no problems in school. He entered first grade and still had no problems. For second grade he was transferred to another school because his current school did not have the program he needed. As the school year started I received many phone calls from his teachers regarding him being bullied. I was constantly having meetings in school. It was exhausting running back and forth toschool but it had to be handled. I remember this one incident where a classmate (a girl) scratched my son on his face and left a big mark from the eye down to the cheek. I was furious.
I didnt even call the school to make an appointment. I went to school walked through the doors and demanded to speak to the principal and parents of the girl. The school staff knew me by my first name because I was always there.Now I dont believe in hitting back, but you know what I needed to teach my son to stand up to bullying. The schools policy is keep your hands to yourself. I told the principal and "MY POLICY IS MY SON IS TO HIT BACK IF HE IS HIT!!!! "
Since my son has had these unfortunate experiences it has scarred him. He at one point thought that is was ok to be bullied and called them his friends. They would be nice to him one day because they were too busy bullying someone else. I told my son they are not your friends. True friends care for each other not bully people. It was difficult for my son to make friends. He was always by himself. He never participated in school activites. He thought because he was different nobody would except him. He felt worthless. It broke my heart and made me cry.
I told my son that he is worth everything..He is smart,handsome, and unique. They are the ones losing out by not being your friend. You are sweet and caring and loving and if thats not what they are not looking for then they dont know what friends mean. Kids can be very cruel especially towards special needs children. For all parents of special needs children. I urge you to please teach your children to stand up to bullying. Now I'm not saying have them go around hitting. Have your children tell school staff. Make sure your kids tell YOU whats going on. Ask your children everyday how school was.
Be open with your children let them know you are there for them. Make your presence known with the school that you will not tolerate bullying. Some words I used to throw at the schools were Lawyer, SPAN, Board of Education if the issues were not resolved. Be the best advocate you can be. In the end your children will be grateful.I hope I have helped any parent who might be struggling with this issue.
I didnt even call the school to make an appointment. I went to school walked through the doors and demanded to speak to the principal and parents of the girl. The school staff knew me by my first name because I was always there.Now I dont believe in hitting back, but you know what I needed to teach my son to stand up to bullying. The schools policy is keep your hands to yourself. I told the principal and "MY POLICY IS MY SON IS TO HIT BACK IF HE IS HIT!!!! "
Since my son has had these unfortunate experiences it has scarred him. He at one point thought that is was ok to be bullied and called them his friends. They would be nice to him one day because they were too busy bullying someone else. I told my son they are not your friends. True friends care for each other not bully people. It was difficult for my son to make friends. He was always by himself. He never participated in school activites. He thought because he was different nobody would except him. He felt worthless. It broke my heart and made me cry.
I told my son that he is worth everything..He is smart,handsome, and unique. They are the ones losing out by not being your friend. You are sweet and caring and loving and if thats not what they are not looking for then they dont know what friends mean. Kids can be very cruel especially towards special needs children. For all parents of special needs children. I urge you to please teach your children to stand up to bullying. Now I'm not saying have them go around hitting. Have your children tell school staff. Make sure your kids tell YOU whats going on. Ask your children everyday how school was.
Be open with your children let them know you are there for them. Make your presence known with the school that you will not tolerate bullying. Some words I used to throw at the schools were Lawyer, SPAN, Board of Education if the issues were not resolved. Be the best advocate you can be. In the end your children will be grateful.I hope I have helped any parent who might be struggling with this issue.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
My Journey For My ASD Child
My daughter was born in the fall of 2009. It was the best day of my life. God has given me another beautiful girl to love. I loved holding her in my arms and looking into her beautiful eyes. I loved watching her grow, loved watching her do all her first things. It was a moment I will never forget!!! When she was about 12 months she started to take her first steps and started to make sounds. She was saying "dada". It filled my eyes with tears. I was so happy.
Within a few months she suddenly stopped talking, stopped making eye contact. Everytime I would talk to her she would not respond to me. It raised a red flag for me. As time passed she was not interacting with her siblings. She was not playing with toys like a child her age should be.I raised my concerns to her pediatrician. He gave me a autism form to fill out.
With so many concerns going through my head already I was afraid to see the results to this form. When the Dr. looked over it he was in shock. I was in shock just by the look on his face. Just filling in the answers to the questions made me cry because my daughter could not do any of the things that were on the form. He suggested we give her some time. I agreed but with one condition ,that after time passes I get referred to a specialist get her evaluated.
Two months passed and still no progress. There were symptoms that I had noticed with my daughter. When she got excited she would flap her hands. When you called her name she would not respond. She was not social and would sit on the floor by herself just looking at toys because she didnt know how to play with them.
I went online and started googling autism and the symptoms. When I saw that my daughter had some of those symptoms my heart broke into tiny pieces. I was in disbelief. I had gotten the referral for Early Intervention and called them to set everything up. Within a few weeks she was eligible for services. Still no dx so she got DI 5x a week, OT 2x a month, and Speech 1x a month.I then called the specialist and made an appointment.It took 6 months to get my daughter evaluated. But she was already getting EI. She was slowly making progress but she wasnt where she needed to be.
Finally on February 1, 2012 (I will never forget this day, I remember it like it was yesterday) my daughter had her appointment and that day was the worse day of my life.. the Dr. dx my daughter with classic Autism. I cried and cried. I looked into my daughters eyes and I cried some more. I had many thoughts going through my mind. I coulnd't beleive what I had heard. I was in denial.
I gave the results to EI and they changed her services to ABA 12 hours a week. Increased OT 1x a week, and speech 2x a week.Within a monh of ABA starting my daughter made so much progress. She was making eye contact. She was playing with toys.She knew some colors, shapes, alphabets. It was an amazing feeling to see my little girl make progress.She is now in pre k3 and doing great. My heart still hurts because she does not communicate vocally. She uses sign language which is great. But for me, not hearing "I love you mommy" or any sounds, is a hard thing to deal with.
I dont know when she will talk or if she will talk. All I know is that if she can sign I love you mommy, thats good enough for me right now. In due time everything will fall into place. I will never lose hope. I will stay strong and fight for my daughter. This journey has been a great one. I have met so many amazing people. They have shared their experiences and have given me the support I need. It's a great feeling to know that you are not alone. Education, Awareness, and Acceptance is what families like me need. I just want my children to be accepted for who they are.
Within a few months she suddenly stopped talking, stopped making eye contact. Everytime I would talk to her she would not respond to me. It raised a red flag for me. As time passed she was not interacting with her siblings. She was not playing with toys like a child her age should be.I raised my concerns to her pediatrician. He gave me a autism form to fill out.
With so many concerns going through my head already I was afraid to see the results to this form. When the Dr. looked over it he was in shock. I was in shock just by the look on his face. Just filling in the answers to the questions made me cry because my daughter could not do any of the things that were on the form. He suggested we give her some time. I agreed but with one condition ,that after time passes I get referred to a specialist get her evaluated.
Two months passed and still no progress. There were symptoms that I had noticed with my daughter. When she got excited she would flap her hands. When you called her name she would not respond. She was not social and would sit on the floor by herself just looking at toys because she didnt know how to play with them.
I went online and started googling autism and the symptoms. When I saw that my daughter had some of those symptoms my heart broke into tiny pieces. I was in disbelief. I had gotten the referral for Early Intervention and called them to set everything up. Within a few weeks she was eligible for services. Still no dx so she got DI 5x a week, OT 2x a month, and Speech 1x a month.I then called the specialist and made an appointment.It took 6 months to get my daughter evaluated. But she was already getting EI. She was slowly making progress but she wasnt where she needed to be.
Finally on February 1, 2012 (I will never forget this day, I remember it like it was yesterday) my daughter had her appointment and that day was the worse day of my life.. the Dr. dx my daughter with classic Autism. I cried and cried. I looked into my daughters eyes and I cried some more. I had many thoughts going through my mind. I coulnd't beleive what I had heard. I was in denial.
I gave the results to EI and they changed her services to ABA 12 hours a week. Increased OT 1x a week, and speech 2x a week.Within a monh of ABA starting my daughter made so much progress. She was making eye contact. She was playing with toys.She knew some colors, shapes, alphabets. It was an amazing feeling to see my little girl make progress.She is now in pre k3 and doing great. My heart still hurts because she does not communicate vocally. She uses sign language which is great. But for me, not hearing "I love you mommy" or any sounds, is a hard thing to deal with.
I dont know when she will talk or if she will talk. All I know is that if she can sign I love you mommy, thats good enough for me right now. In due time everything will fall into place. I will never lose hope. I will stay strong and fight for my daughter. This journey has been a great one. I have met so many amazing people. They have shared their experiences and have given me the support I need. It's a great feeling to know that you are not alone. Education, Awareness, and Acceptance is what families like me need. I just want my children to be accepted for who they are.
Monday, December 10, 2012
My Journey For My ADD/LD Child
I gave birth to three beautiful children. My first born was my son. He was a HANDSOME healthy boy. My middle child, a girl she was BEAUTIFUL and healthy. Last was my third child a PRECIOUS healthy girl. When my son was growing up it was such an amazing experience for me. I loved being a mom. Everything was perfect in my eyes until he started talking.
I noticed that he had slurred speech. I was concerned at this point because he was not understandng things he should know.I mentioned it to the pediatrician and of course I heard "he is fine" "he is a boy they take longer to talk". I didnt have many options then. I was young and didnt know much. When he turned 4 yrs. old. I enrolled him in pre-k4. That's when I was assured there was something not right.
My son's teacher was concerned also because of his speech and he didn't know any alphabets, he couldnt read and write. I made an appointment to a development Dr. My son was diagnosed with a Learning Disability. I started the Special education process and had no luck getting him placed until he was in first grade. Two years my son had to deal with it. I pushed and pushed and nobody would help.
When he finally got placed in a self contained class I felt relieved. He was finally going to get the help he needed. Years went by and he was progressing, his speech was a lot better. He was talking clear. In fourth grade is when I noticed something else.
His teachers would tell me that he was not paying attention in class and when he did, he didnt understand the assignments.I had noticed the same thing at home when doing homework with him. So I again took him back to the development Dr.we discussed what was going on and I already knew what it was. To think something is one thing and to know something is heartbreaking. My son was dx with ADD/LD. We started him on medicine (which I was skeptical about) but in the end it has worked GREAT for him.
My son has received great grades in school he even got an honorable mention in school. He now does his homework by himself and explains the work to me!!!! It's amazing to know that I have helped my son achieve success!! Don't stop fighting for your children. We are their advocates, they depend on us.
I noticed that he had slurred speech. I was concerned at this point because he was not understandng things he should know.I mentioned it to the pediatrician and of course I heard "he is fine" "he is a boy they take longer to talk". I didnt have many options then. I was young and didnt know much. When he turned 4 yrs. old. I enrolled him in pre-k4. That's when I was assured there was something not right.
My son's teacher was concerned also because of his speech and he didn't know any alphabets, he couldnt read and write. I made an appointment to a development Dr. My son was diagnosed with a Learning Disability. I started the Special education process and had no luck getting him placed until he was in first grade. Two years my son had to deal with it. I pushed and pushed and nobody would help.
When he finally got placed in a self contained class I felt relieved. He was finally going to get the help he needed. Years went by and he was progressing, his speech was a lot better. He was talking clear. In fourth grade is when I noticed something else.
His teachers would tell me that he was not paying attention in class and when he did, he didnt understand the assignments.I had noticed the same thing at home when doing homework with him. So I again took him back to the development Dr.we discussed what was going on and I already knew what it was. To think something is one thing and to know something is heartbreaking. My son was dx with ADD/LD. We started him on medicine (which I was skeptical about) but in the end it has worked GREAT for him.
My son has received great grades in school he even got an honorable mention in school. He now does his homework by himself and explains the work to me!!!! It's amazing to know that I have helped my son achieve success!! Don't stop fighting for your children. We are their advocates, they depend on us.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Words Of Encouragement
A poem for my daughter...
Life will be very difficult at times
Always keep one thing in mind
Do not listen to what ppl say
Keep your head high& walk away
Be who you are & ppl will see
That AUTISM does not define who you will be
You have a lot of love to give
b/c it comes from within
Do not try to impress
Its not worth all the stress
Be yourself it will be okay
B/c you will leave your mark in this world one day
You will be the greatest of them all
Stand proud Stand tall
You make me happy all the time
I'm glad to say you are mine!!!
Life will be very difficult at times
Always keep one thing in mind
Do not listen to what ppl say
Keep your head high& walk away
Be who you are & ppl will see
That AUTISM does not define who you will be
You have a lot of love to give
b/c it comes from within
Do not try to impress
Its not worth all the stress
Be yourself it will be okay
B/c you will leave your mark in this world one day
You will be the greatest of them all
Stand proud Stand tall
You make me happy all the time
I'm glad to say you are mine!!!
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